Patience is such a virtue. After one of the greatest nights maybe ever, I'm feeling so alive today, so relieved, so happy! I was losing hope...thinking that all my efforts may have been worthless. I don't know what will become of this renewed love or if it can last because it is so hard for people to change their ways. I like what I have, I like what we have, but I don't know if it's for real and where it's meant to go from here. I've been deceived in the past and I've grown to disregard the deceptions and carry on, but if this isn't a deception, then I may be the happiest that I've been since my first and only love to date. Destiny take your course...I'm ready for anything! I only wish I could see where you're heading.

Laced with brilliant smiles and shining eyes....you've got me wild, turned around inside.

i'm losing focus......

update: things are great back at school! textbooks raped me of my cash today. classes are.......classes, really. break was everything i wanted it to be and more! i finally wrote a song, just need to be perfected!

there was a little weirdness tonite, but it's all good; i kinda expected it :-) some people never change....and some people i don't ever want to change

also, i'm terrible at keeping up my blog.....more later; maybe in a day, maybe in a week.....whenever

i am kinda drunk....goodnite :-)

Being at home for Thanksgiving rocked! I loved being able to sit and talk with my sister for hours and chat with my mom and play with the dog and cat and watch TV and eat good food whenever I feel like it and play guitar.....for hours and go to sleep whenever and sleep 'til whenever and hang with old friends. We are so free and independent at school, but not really. We are actually kinda constrained. If we do what we're supposed to or even attempt to do what were supposed to (go to some class, do some HW, study some) we really can't do most things that we want to. I know this will all be worth it someday and that what we are running towards is worth the run, but along the way I hate the times when I can't take the path I want to take. I'm surrounded by all these awesome people and good friends here at NU and so many parties and random hangout opportunities and other good times, but also by so many time constraining this I really don't want to do, don't see the value in doing, but need to do to "succeed" and be academically normal. I HATE "READING" WEEK. All my CAS friends are out having great times every nite and I still have class, still have papers due, still have projects due, still have HW to do. Then finals week is shitty for everyone. Fall Quarter sucks the most though, because you know you need to study, but you also need to spend time with all the people you won't see for almost a month. I love the people here and I need to study for finals. How can I spend time with the people I love and study atleast enough to catch up to where I should be so I don' t fail? Finals week frustrates me!

I came up with more parts of songs today! winter break is gonna be awesome. i can finally put together all the doodling i've come up with all quarter and put them to the lyrics i've thought up. i can finally express myself through music! i love it! all those thoughts can come out in my attempt at music!

finals week will be rough.....mon wed wed thurs....3 of 'em at 9am...ouch! i'll make it though! then off to the DMB show!!!! U of I peeps, I'm coming!

now to sleep so i can study all day tomorrow without falling asleep on my books

ben folds rocks!

wow...it's been a while since i've posted....last week was the greatest: exchange w/KD, AChiO and Theta Chi at Hogs 'n Honeys on Tues nite, GPhi Rock 'n Bowl date party on Wed. nite, Ben Folds show on Thurs. nite, DChi date party to CSO and Exchequer Pub on Fri. nite...such a great time ;-) and then a wonderful nite in the city with my awesome pledge sisters: Ed Debev.'s and Tony 'n Tina's Wedding (great show!) plus DChi got 2nd in IM vball on Tues.....shoulda been first....oh well!

I already know what I want to do next summer!....that seems so far away....I just need to make it to Thanksgiving break first! I can't wait for turkey day: family and good food! I miss the fam and home, but I'm getting used to the school jams....I need to make more time to hang with old friends.....school's fun, except the school part

i love helping people out....i spent an hour on the phone with one of my peer advisees tonite helping him figure out his calculus project that's due tomorrow.....math over the phone is not so much fun, but helping people is.....yay for waiting til the last minute to do stuff!

i'm going to the DMB show on SAT Dec. 14 at U of I and probably the one on the 13th at the United Center too....i'm so psyched! finals week is gonna suck ass, but the break will start out very well!

sleep rocks....running in the snow is even better! yay for snow and running while it's snowing!

Madeleine is the coolest!!! and not just for giving me the chocolate cake (which is honestly the best cake i've ever tasted!)....I need to hang out with her more

i need a work study job, but i'm not sure which one to go for.....forced working sucks, but cash is always fun...i think i'm gonna work in the BME dept.

I started writing lyrics again last nite.....kinda random, but i was just in the mood......this summer and the beginning of this year were very inspirational to me, but I'm just getting my feelings out now....people who lie suck! putting words to music is a little trickier for me right now, but i'm relearning my keys and scales, so before too long it should be no prob......winter break will be my time to start making real music.....i can't wait!

i need to get back into top soccer shape....i started today, sorta, but i don't know if i'm going to be able to keep it up through finals week....we'll see

the soc paper is turning out to be really cool! i love soc, but the paper is not finished yet! still lots more work to do on it

i love random thoughts....if you're reading my random thoughts, they are in no particular order and they are of varying complexity....enjoy! goodnite :-)

I'm not going to the Willard Formal...I never was...I never wanted to...or was I...or did I? There are still tickets left...I could buy one...it's at a sweet venue (The Planetarium)...but I'm not going to get a ticket. I went last year....I don' t need to go again.

Why don't things seem right? I need sleep. Maybe things will sort themselves out. Oh, btw...i had this conversation with like the COOOOOOLEST girl last nite...for like 4 hrs....I doesn't mean anything though. I just thought I'd mention it. Don't worry...it's all good! Have a great nite!!!

what i want is what i've not got
and what i need is all around me...
- JimiThang

I'm going to buy champange tomorrow...and I'm going to relive my summer in 30 mins. too. Then I'm going to move the earth. Should be a good day.

college is actually starting to get better....a lot better...especially in the last couple weeks :-) I love watching movies and chillin (what i did last night)...we finally won a football game today!!! tonite I'm going to see BOTM, some of the best a cappella around, short of the Undertones of course...it's gonna be a great night; my Mom and Fritz just got here and we're gonna go out to eat soon; I love when the parents visit :)